http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/-t1.htm Created by Alhena on 21th december 2008. Wed, 13 Jan 2010 22:29:32 GMT 10 http://i31.servimg.com/u/f31/12/11/78/23/ban_ed10.jpg http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/-t1.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-21-in-the-middle-of-the-night-t4211.htm Alhena Wednesday, January 12th 2010 in Glasgow I open Aidan's door and quickly get to his crib. I take him in my arms and start swinging him slowly. Another nightmare... Unless his teeth are taunting him. Charlie has finally gone to sleep, and I don't want that little boy to wake her up, she needs her sleep. They both do. Well, actually, we all need our sleep... I go to the kitchen, still carrying my son in my arms. I open the fridge, and get out his cold dummy. It should help to ease the pain. I ... Steve Wed, 13 Jan 2010 22:29:32 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-21-in-the-middle-of-the-night-t4211.htm#14134 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-21-in-the-middle-of-the-night-t4211.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-20-first-day-of-the-year-t4205.htm Alhena Friday, January 1st 2010 in Glasgow I put down my cup of tea, and look at my watch. It's half eight, and I really should get moving. I get up, put the cup in the sink and grab my jacket. "It's a shame you have to go to work tonight." "It's still better than having to work last night. I'm glad I didn't miss that dinner. Your soup was really good, and I loved that meal, hum, what do you call it again?" "A fondue. The one we did last night is called bourguignonne because ... Steve Fri, 01 Jan 2010 19:51:44 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-20-first-day-of-the-year-t4205.htm#14120 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-20-first-day-of-the-year-t4205.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-19-discovering-a-new-world-being-a-father-t3893.htm Alhena Thursday, June 25th 2009 in Glasgow Here you are my little one. The nurse gently carries you to me, and sets you in my arms. I don't know if I'm crying, I don't think so, but this baby is so beautiful that I feel like crying. I smile at Charlie, who's resting on her bed. She smiles back, exhausted but magnificent. I sit right next to her and we share the first hug of our baby in this world. The sweet ballet of hospital people and family and friends starts, but I see nothing, I hear nothing, ... Steve Fri, 26 Jun 2009 14:17:30 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-19-discovering-a-new-world-being-a-father-t3893.htm#12805 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-19-discovering-a-new-world-being-a-father-t3893.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-18-morning-difficulties-t3891.htm Alhena Wednesday, June 24th 2009 in Glasgow I open one eye. God, why is there a train in my head? Getting up seems like the Everest to climb, but my body tells me that I definitively need the loo. I slowly get out of bed, and reach the bathroom. Since it took me quite some time to get there, and considering the pain in my head, I believe I am suffering a terrible and unmistakable hungover. I walk back to the bed. I sit down next to Charlie, and start stroking her brown hair. Wait. Brown? Charlie's ... Steve Wed, 24 Jun 2009 08:36:37 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-18-morning-difficulties-t3891.htm#12795 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-18-morning-difficulties-t3891.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-17-one-fine-morning-t3681.htm Alhena Friday, April 19th 2009 in Glasgow I get up quietly, and go to the kitchen. I need a strong coffee to finish waking up. On the way, I pick up the newspaper, and set it on the table as I start browsing through the cupboard to get the breakfast things out. I hesitate a second to set the table for Charlie as well. But she's still sleeping, and she's got some of these weird fancies now. Some mornings she can't eat anything but milk, and then the next day, she will eat twice as much as me... ... Steve Sat, 18 Apr 2009 01:50:48 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-17-one-fine-morning-t3681.htm#11805 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-17-one-fine-morning-t3681.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-16-people-who-matter-t3618.htm Alhena Monday, March 30th 2009 in Glasgow It must be around 11pm, and Charlie is sleeping. Today was first day back to work, and she was upbeat like a child going on his first day back to school. It was actually quite funny to look at. And as she didn't work this afternoon, she had the time to do what I'm now doing: sending off invitations for the wedding. She did all those for her family and friends, and I now have to do mine. I am so not looking forward to do that. I'm rubbish when it comes to ... Steve Tue, 31 Mar 2009 00:10:04 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-16-people-who-matter-t3618.htm#11481 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-16-people-who-matter-t3618.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-15-st-patrick-s-day-t3531.htm Alhena Tuesday, March 17th 2009 in Glasgow I close the bathroom door, and walk back in the big common room. The nurses have decorated it on the occasion, and everywhere on the walls, bright orange-white-green flags and garlands are hanging. Bette is playing some music on the stereo while we wait for the band to show up. All the patients are quite excited. It's not the Irish National Day everyday! The cook has worked quite well on the occasion. We've got Irish Stew, scones, and some Apple Tart as ... Steve Tue, 17 Mar 2009 19:20:07 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-15-st-patrick-s-day-t3531.htm#11039 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-15-st-patrick-s-day-t3531.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-14-how-is-she-t3483.htm Alhena Monday, March 9th 2009 in Glasgow "I'm going to say yes, of course. I really enjoyed it last time. And it's nice to meet new people, don't you think?" And the phone ring. Saved by the bell. I didn't want to have to answer, because I don't think what' I 'd like to answer will please her. No, Charlie. I don't think meeting new people is always nice. Look at Jake... Ok, no, that is definitively the right thing to say. I get the phone, while Charlie starts typing her answer. "Hello?" "Hello, ... Steve Tue, 10 Mar 2009 00:35:03 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-14-how-is-she-t3483.htm#10761 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-14-how-is-she-t3483.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-13-coming-back-from-work-t3429.htm Alhena Wednesday, March 4th 2009 in Glasgow I wave Joe goodbye and get in the car. It's 5 in the morning. Night shift. I feel so tired I can't actually think in sentences... I drive very carefully through the silent city center. When I eventually reach the flat, the sky is getting clearer and the clouds are slowly turning from orange to grey. It feels like snow. I get in, and lock the door behind me. After dropping my coat and keys in the living-room, I move to the kitchen to get something to eat. ... Steve Wed, 04 Mar 2009 23:58:43 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-13-coming-back-from-work-t3429.htm#10393 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-13-coming-back-from-work-t3429.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-12-hard-time-at-work-t3371.htm Alhena Tuesday, Februray 24th 2009 in Glasgow "Franck, have you seen Joe? I've been looking for him everywhere." "Nope, did you try the smocking area?" "No. Does he smoke?" "I think so, yeah." I rush to the little yard next to the parking where the staff is allowed to smoke. Nope, no Joe there either. I rush back up and actually jump on Mary. "Mary, thank God, come with me. It's Jonathan." "What's wrong?" "I think he's ... Steve Wed, 25 Feb 2009 18:11:30 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-12-hard-time-at-work-t3371.htm#10100 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-12-hard-time-at-work-t3371.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-11-louis-birthday-party-t3273.htm Alhena Sunday, February 15th 2009 in Glasgow I push the door open with my back and make my way to the kitchen. I drop the bags of groceries on the table, and shout "I'm home!". Charlie comes in the room and with her own, sweet way, kisses me. I cut it short because I don't want to unease Louis, whom I can hear in the living room. I whisper "How was your day?" but she's already gone. Never mind. I know she's not fully mine these days. And I also know that she'll never be for good. ... Steve Mon, 16 Feb 2009 01:45:17 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-11-louis-birthday-party-t3273.htm#9701 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-11-louis-birthday-party-t3273.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-10-setting-up-t3261.htm Alhena Friday, February 13th 2009 in Glasgow I hang up in the phone, a smile on my face. Everything is slowly moving into place. Louis's party is getting pretty organised by now. Everybody has confirmed, and my mate at the Uisge Beatha pub has agreed on booking a table for us on sunday night. I'm really pleased everything goes according to plan. Louis doesn't really look that happy, although I know he's been enjoying himself. Charlie is right, there is something wrong. As if he was constantly sad. ... Steve Fri, 13 Feb 2009 16:10:34 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-10-setting-up-t3261.htm#9613 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-10-setting-up-t3261.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-9-welcome-to-scotland-louis-t3247.htm Alhena Tuesday, February 10th 2009 in Glasgow We're off to pick up Louis at the airport. I can feel Charlie fidgetting next to me, on the passenger seat. We've been having an on-off conversation, since she can't really focus on anything else than Louis' arrival. "Why does it have to be cloudy today?" she suddenly mutters between her teeth. "Honey, it's Scotland. It's always, at some point of the day, cloudy." I laugh. Weather has always been a kick-down for Scotland, but ... Steve Wed, 11 Feb 2009 10:47:20 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-9-welcome-to-scotland-louis-t3247.htm#9545 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-9-welcome-to-scotland-louis-t3247.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-8-peace-t3246.htm Alhena Monday, February 9th 2009 in Glasgow It's about 10. We're sitting on the sofa, facing the tv, but none of us is actually watching it, I think. I can hear Charlie breathing slowly, as if she was sleeping. I stay there, going over my day, and then, over the last week. I like the feeling, these days. It feels like peace. I'm not sure it's going to last but I'll enjoy it as much as I can, while I can. I remember the phone call this afternoon. Mom is just going crazy. Everyday, she adds up ... Steve Wed, 11 Feb 2009 09:31:17 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-8-peace-t3246.htm#9544 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-8-peace-t3246.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-7-out-with-folks-t3184.htm Alhena Saturday, January 31st 2009 in Glasgow Out with my lot. We had dinner at the Crystal Palace. Nice cool place. A bit too "family" for me, but at least we could fit the little dozen of us in there. Vince got a chance as well to check on the results of the football matches. Luckyly for us and the general mood of the evening, the Rangers beat Dundee Ud quite easily 2-0. I was never too much into sports, apart from the fencing, so I never really understood that whole buzz around it. ... Steve Sun, 01 Feb 2009 01:10:15 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-7-out-with-folks-t3184.htm#9132 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-7-out-with-folks-t3184.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-6-life-is-cruel-t3055.htm Alhena Friday, January 16th 2009 in Glasgow I get in Franck's office, and put on his desk the papers I carry in my hands. They are the reports of the patients' evolutions. One of them is a bit slow but then again, they're all different. I look quickly around, and seeing that Franck is not in, I get out and resume my work. While I'm walking down the corridor, I list, in my head, the things I have to do this afternoon. I have to visit Mrs Broad, get Mr Humphrey to take his medecine, motivate Andrew ... Steve Fri, 16 Jan 2009 09:33:31 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-6-life-is-cruel-t3055.htm#8390 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-6-life-is-cruel-t3055.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-5-not-all-the-christmas-presents-are-for-christmas-t2375.htm Alhena Tuesday, December 30th 2008 in Glasgow "See why I didn't want to do it?" She looks so much like a child sometimes... "It's important for them, hun. Your dad helped a lot. He called me every two days throughout your whole captivity to check for some news." "What? Why?" "Because he was asked by his embassy to stay in France and not get involved. The only person that had contact with the police and your kidnappers as well, was me." "It shouldn't ... Steve Sun, 04 Jan 2009 21:23:59 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-5-not-all-the-christmas-presents-are-for-christmas-t2375.htm#7022 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-5-not-all-the-christmas-presents-are-for-christmas-t2375.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-4-magic-present-t2374.htm Alhena Monday, December 29th 2008 in Glasgow I don't want to let her go. Not even to let her go to the toilet. I missed her so much. I was so worried. After she showed up at my door, like some kind of late Christmas magic present, we let the officer check the flat, and then he leaves. I take my time and, slowly, strikes her face with my fingers. I try to memorize every single detail of her, wishing at the same time not to be parted from her ever again. Delicately, I move closer to her, and kiss ... Steve Sun, 04 Jan 2009 21:23:32 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-4-magic-present-t2374.htm#7021 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-4-magic-present-t2374.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-3-you-re-here-t2373.htm Alhena Sunday, December 28th 2008 in Glasgow Another evening on the list. Joe called me today. First time in five years. Christmas magic. He wanted to know how I was, and if I had any news. No, I don't, Joe. Do you think that if I had, I'll be staying here? And then, he gave me some news of his family, his wife Eileen, his son James and his daughter Tina. I didn't really care, but it was rarely enough this attention for me to stay civil. After a little while, he run out of ideas and said he would ... Steve Sun, 04 Jan 2009 21:22:48 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-3-you-re-here-t2373.htm#7020 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-3-you-re-here-t2373.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-2-christmas-day-t2372.htm Alhena Thursday, December 25th 2008 in Glasgow Tudududududuuuuuuuuuuu The phone doesn't even stop its first ring. "Yeah, hello!" "Hi, honey, merry Christmas." "Hi, mum. Merry Christmas to you too." Please, mum, don't take my disappointement personally. I just can't help it. This situation is driving me crazy. "How are you, dear?" "I'm ok, mum. How is it going with the rest of the family?" "Good, good. Joe's family is keeping ... Steve Sun, 04 Jan 2009 21:21:53 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-2-christmas-day-t2372.htm#7019 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-2-christmas-day-t2372.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-1-day-27-t2371.htm Alhena Sunday, December 21st 2008 in Glasgow The phone rings. I rush out the shower, and jumps on the poor object. "Yes?! Hello!" "Steve, it's Paul." "Oh. Hi, Paul." I can't help but sound disappointed. "You alright?" "Yeah, I think so. You?" "Yeah." He stays silent. Me too. What can we say anyway? That we're desperate for some news of Charlie? We both know that. That we don't have any news whatsover? We know that too. That ... Steve Sun, 04 Jan 2009 21:21:18 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-1-day-27-t2371.htm#7018 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/steve-f51/fragment-1-day-27-t2371.htm