http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/-t1.htm Created by Polaris on 15th april 2008. Mon, 23 Aug 2010 22:36:08 GMT 10 http://i31.servimg.com/u/f31/12/11/78/23/ban_ed10.jpg http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/-t1.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-39-dishes-t4339.htm Polaris Monday 23rd August 2010 In Glasgow I have seen things. Things that we as puny humans have no right to know of. Entities that should not be. Cruelly twisted abominations, vile mockeries of life as we understand it in our primitive primate brains. Bubbling, churning, black, iridescent, amorphous nightmares, summoned out of the most fevered night terrors of childhood given substance by some unholy means! Lovecraftian horrors from the back-of-beyond come out of their aeon-long imprisonment to show ... Ed Mon, 23 Aug 2010 22:36:08 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-39-dishes-t4339.htm#14556 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-39-dishes-t4339.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-38-david-s-lament-ii-t4331.htm Polaris Friday 14th May 2010 Glasgow 'Ed, I'm having some trouble with Greg.' 'And?' 'Hey! I'm in need and you're not even pretending to give a shit.' 'All right, all right. I'll pretend, just for you, that I give a shit for now. Now what's up with you and Greg?' 'He's got no trust for me any more, he says.' 'Yes.' 'Yes?' 'Yes.' 'What the fuck?' 'Well – it's just a guess – but is there any way he may have been a bit annoyed at you getting off with a whole bunch of people?' 'Well...' 'Thought ... Ed Fri, 14 May 2010 10:16:04 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-38-david-s-lament-ii-t4331.htm#14535 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-38-david-s-lament-ii-t4331.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-37-david-s-lament-t4324.htm Polaris Saturday 24th April 2010 In Glasgow “I can't take it any more!” “I'll change the channel if you like.” “No, not that.” “What?” “Nothing.” “Well it's obviously not nothing, otherwise you wouldn't have just proclaimed that you 'can't take it any more'.” “Well...” “Well what?” “I'm just sick and tired of being single, waking up every morning on my own. Nobody to hold on to when watching TV.” “Well there is always someone out there for you.” “That's bullshit. Everyone else has someone, ... Ed Sun, 25 Apr 2010 11:05:44 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-37-david-s-lament-t4324.htm#14521 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-37-david-s-lament-t4324.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-36-blind-date-t4221.htm Polaris Wednesday 3rd February 2010 Glasgow “I knew this dude once, can't remember his name. Anyway, there was this time he was out on a blind date, now this dude – Tommy, that was his name – well he went to the date really looking forward to it. It had been years for poor Tommy, five years of no sex whatsoever. He was desperate. Okay, using the word desperate is a bit like saying “Hitler was a wee bit naughty”, it just doesn't have the right emphasis. “Anyway, he meets up with this bird and oh-my-fucking-god ... Ed Wed, 03 Feb 2010 13:30:30 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-36-blind-date-t4221.htm#14173 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-36-blind-date-t4221.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-35-memories-t3975.htm Polaris Saturday 1st August 2009 in Glasgow My mobile calls out, telling me about a new text message. It's from Jen. I have to say that breaking up with Pete may have been the best thing she could have done but it's left me in the position of having my phone's inbox pretty much spammed with random shit all the time. I open the wee flip thingy that I live in terror of breaking and take a sigh before reading. “good bye, I'm sorry.” Strange, Very strange indeed. Normally her messages are about three ... Ed Sat, 01 Aug 2009 19:00:45 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-35-memories-t3975.htm#13202 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-35-memories-t3975.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-34-permission-to-land-t3971.htm Polaris Monday 27th July 2009 In Glasgow 'How was the flight?' I ask in the banal manner of idle chit-chat. The fact is, I know the answer, flying anywhere with budgets my friends or I have is like a five hour long game of sardines, only it gets real old far more quickly. They pack you onto these ageing piles of corroded aluminium and highly flammable materials that are held together with gaffa-tape and chewing gum, piloted by some under-paid alcoholic depressive who still manages to sound smug ... Ed Tue, 28 Jul 2009 03:08:12 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-34-permission-to-land-t3971.htm#13179 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-34-permission-to-land-t3971.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-33-all-gone-pete-tong-t3951.htm Polaris Friday 17th July 2009 In Glasgow 'So Andy, what you're telling me, is that a race war is imminent?' 'Aye.' * 'What like the hundred metres versus – say, the London Marathon?' 'Naw man, Like white people against aw the immigrants!' * 'What?' 'It's inevitable, we canny live wi' them any mare, they jist arney British, ken?.' * 'Uh what about the people who were born here.' 'Look, Ah dinny make the rules, but they jist arney “is”' * 'Aren't us?' 'Naw, Ah mean they're...' ... Ed Fri, 17 Jul 2009 01:47:34 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-33-all-gone-pete-tong-t3951.htm#13074 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-33-all-gone-pete-tong-t3951.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-32-puzzle-t3950.htm Polaris Thursday 16th July 2009 in Glasgow 'Five across, “mode of transport for a carpenter”.' I know reader, talking to oneself is a sign of madness, the problem is that this fucking crossword has been foiling my every attempt so far. I don't even like crosswords, I'm just doing this to procrastinate, which might I add is one of my favourite methods of not getting any work done. The problem is that I'm now procrastinating about procrastinating, I'm finding ways of not doing what it was I was ... Ed Thu, 16 Jul 2009 23:37:00 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-32-puzzle-t3950.htm#13073 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-32-puzzle-t3950.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-31-a-walk-in-the-park-t3935.htm Polaris Wednesday 15th July 2009 In Glasgow The world is in stark contrast to the seedy sodium darkness of last night. Despite the sunlight and the crowds, the open shops and the traffic, this place still has a reek to it; dirty bins full of rotting matter of unknown origin and sweat. You glance into the eyes of passers by, each filled with fear and desperation, Oh they all try to look good, they try to smile, but you can see it, you can see the hope that nobody will stop and say hello. Every single ... Ed Wed, 15 Jul 2009 18:15:30 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-31-a-walk-in-the-park-t3935.htm#13041 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-31-a-walk-in-the-park-t3935.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-30-ghosts-t3932.htm Polaris Tuesday 14th July 2009 Glasgow It's late, I'm stalking through my flat. My eyes wide open seeing nothing through the inky black held in place with my curtains. I can't sleep, well I could sleep but that's not something I want to do right now. Nightmares of the sweetest kind, horrors of love and perfection punctuated with the occasional “what if..” Better to wander the halls like a caged animal than to wake wanting nothing but to cry and to beg for something better than this. So I stay awake. I've ... Ed Wed, 15 Jul 2009 03:20:06 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-30-ghosts-t3932.htm#13013 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-30-ghosts-t3932.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-29-telling-a-tale-i-have-to-tell-t3928.htm Polaris Monday 13th July 2009 Glasgow 'Let me tell you a story, and – yes – it's a true story. 'Danny lived in the East end of Glasgow, He used to work in a factory. But then it was discovered by the management that it was cheaper to hire work in another country. Danny was thirty-five-years-old and had no qualifications other than what he had learned in the factory or on the street. This was when Danny realised that money could be made selling drugs, but he forgot to put into consideration one of ... Ed Mon, 13 Jul 2009 01:04:58 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-29-telling-a-tale-i-have-to-tell-t3928.htm#12988 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-29-telling-a-tale-i-have-to-tell-t3928.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-28-waiting-t3761.htm Polaris Thursday 7th May 2009 In Glasgow Reader, did you know that the fear of long words is; Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia? Neither did I, I had no idea how wonderfully cruel people can be. Imagine being a shrink and having to tell your patient that diagnosis, I love it. I'm sitting here in my living room on a cloudy, windy afternoon with only my thoughts to keep me occupied as I wait on some friends coming round. And I think. I continue to think as I put the coffee mug to my mouth ... Ed Thu, 07 May 2009 18:48:58 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-28-waiting-t3761.htm#12101 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-28-waiting-t3761.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-27-pay-attention-t2363.htm Polaris Thursday 18th December 2008 in Glasgow “Hey Ed.” Sandra says as she saunters into the living room. “Can I talk to you?” “Sure.” I put down my book with gratitude for this interruption. “It's about Lynne.” She says sitting down next to me. “Go on.” I'm now feeling ungrateful, I heard the two of them arguing last night and the prospect of intervening as mediator makes the travels of Messer Marco Polo seem highly enticing... well not enticing, perhaps a better description is slightly ... Ed Sun, 04 Jan 2009 20:16:18 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-27-pay-attention-t2363.htm#7006 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-27-pay-attention-t2363.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-26-slimfast-t2362.htm Polaris Saturday 13th September 2008 in Glasgow “I lived with this detestable woman once, her name was Mandy. She was this horrible domineering, school mistress like creature. Every morning she would find something new to complain about. The bathroom sink was leaking, the fridge wasn’t cold enough, the fucking pilot light on the central heating needed to be lit. every day this would happen, normal stuff that most human beings could deal with themselves. I was just her flatmate, it’s not like I owned ... Ed Sun, 04 Jan 2009 20:14:36 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-26-slimfast-t2362.htm#7005 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-26-slimfast-t2362.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-25-wake-up-t2361.htm Polaris Thursday 11th September 2008 in Glasgow My mobile phone is making noise. It's an annoying noise, enough even to wake me up out of a very nice dream about cheesecake. “HEATHEN!” I shout as I answer. “Er. Why did you say that?” Asks Sandra on the other side. “Because no godly person would call at this ungodly hour!” “What? Half past one?” “... Okay fair enough. Why are you calling me?” “ I was wondering what you have planned tonight?” Hmm, This sounds interesting. “Meaning you ... Ed Sun, 04 Jan 2009 20:13:51 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-25-wake-up-t2361.htm#7004 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-25-wake-up-t2361.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-24-you-are-a-winner-t2360.htm Polaris Tuesday 09th September 2008 in Glasgow I'm reading a letter, it's quite interesting. More so than the previous three which all told me important things like; “You are a winner!” “You owe us thousands of pounds.” and my personal favourite; “Legal action will be taken.” This letter however states that I have a job opportunity. No reader, not an underpaying hand-to-mouth freelance deal but a real job. They want me to be the features editor of some small magazine that's being set up. Fools! One ... Ed Sun, 04 Jan 2009 20:12:46 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-24-you-are-a-winner-t2360.htm#7003 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-24-you-are-a-winner-t2360.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-23-night-sentinel-t2359.htm Polaris Thursday 4th September 2008 in Glasgow Tonight, for a change, I feel content, warm and happy. Next to me she is curled up sleeping quietly, peacefully, her dark hair spread out behind her on the pillow. My eyes trace the curve of her arm over the ripples and creases of the duvet. She sleeps with both hands before her face as if in some religious ecstasy, silently breathing out a prayer. She is lit with a halo from the street lamps that filter through the curtains, it gives her a golden radiance ... Ed Sun, 04 Jan 2009 20:11:53 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-23-night-sentinel-t2359.htm#7002 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-23-night-sentinel-t2359.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-22-conceit-t2358.htm Polaris Wednesday 3rd September 2008 in Glasgow Q. What's the definition of a mixed feeling? A. Seeing your mother in law driving off a cliff in your new car. I have a mixed feeling at the moment. Yesterday I spoke to my father on the phone. I spoke to him and I did so for more than an hour. You see, he's ill... Very ill. Lynne is in her room just now crying. I had to tell her that her father is dying, I had to tell her because she was at work when he called. My mixed feeling comes from ... Ed Sun, 04 Jan 2009 20:11:08 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-22-conceit-t2358.htm#7001 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-22-conceit-t2358.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-21-shower-t2357.htm Polaris Tuesday 2nd September 2008 in Glasgow I'm standing in the shower under the stream of water looking down at the seven little birthmarks on my chest, I was playing join the dots again last night with a Biro so I'm covered in lines. I hear the phone starting to ring. I ignore it for a few minutes but for some reason the person on the other end is not giving in. So I grab a towel and hastily wrap it round my waist and run through to the phone. “Hello?” I say in the most harassed tone I can ... Ed Sun, 04 Jan 2009 20:09:48 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-21-shower-t2357.htm#6999 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-21-shower-t2357.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-20-pandas-t2356.htm Polaris Saturday 30th August 2008 In Glasgow “I have no sympathy for animals on the endangered list... Take Pandas for example, what do they do other than eat bamboo and die? Nothing! They don’t even fuck each other. “Some of them are so lethargic that they have to be shown pornography. Why do you think that is? Is it because they don’t know what to do? No, I think its actually because they are secretly voyeuristic perverts that can’t get it up without some visual stimulation. “What do they ... Ed Sun, 04 Jan 2009 20:08:54 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-20-pandas-t2356.htm#6998 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-20-pandas-t2356.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-19-doubt-t2355.htm Polaris Friday, 29th August 2008 in Glasgow I'm sitting alone in the living room, it's four in the morning. I've been chain smoking for the past hour only really pausing to get another cup of coffee. I can't be sure why, but I just cannot seem to get into the mood to sleep. You see reader, my mind keeps flicking back to the sweet events of Wednesday. I keep thinking about how her hair smelt and how warm she was in my arms, how good it felt to hold someone again. It's a strange feeling of joy ... Ed Sun, 04 Jan 2009 20:07:26 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-19-doubt-t2355.htm#6997 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-19-doubt-t2355.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-18-mornin-t2354.htm Polaris Thursday 28th August 2008 in Glasgow Breakfast, I should make some. I limp through to the kitchen cursing Lynne all the way. Standing in the doorway I scan the room with wonder. Just a few months ago you would have needed a tetanus shot just thinking about it and a HazMat suit to open the door. My fridge is full, but full of nothing that could be used in the production of breakfast, beer, wine and cold curry. Well nothing that could be used when company is involved. I'll go to the shop round ... Ed Sun, 04 Jan 2009 20:05:16 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-18-mornin-t2354.htm#6995 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-18-mornin-t2354.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-17-gender-t2353.htm Polaris Wednesday 27th August 2008 In Glasgow “Well the fact is that most of us males tend to be in a mild form of perpetual despair. Look at it this way: Men are idiots, we are! And because we are idiots we have no idea what to do about relationships, you see women, in general, are far more clever than your average male and they run circles round us because of this, you don't mean to, we're just too dim to do anything about it.” I take a sip of my coffee, my point made. “Okay then. What about ... Ed Sun, 04 Jan 2009 20:03:46 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-17-gender-t2353.htm#6994 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-17-gender-t2353.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-16-dr-c-szell-t2352.htm Polaris Tuesday, 26th August 2008 in Glasgow I have to go to the dentist today, and the last time I went was what I would describe as an unfortunate disappointment. In I went and sat down, the dentist then started to tap gingerly at my teeth. Tap, tap, tap... Tap, tap, tap. He then told me that all was well and sent me to the reception as quickly as he could, that man nigh on shoved me down that corridor. For this small service of tooth tapping I had to fork out thirty quid. Thirty pounds! Now I'm ... Ed Sun, 04 Jan 2009 20:02:45 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-16-dr-c-szell-t2352.htm#6993 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-16-dr-c-szell-t2352.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-15-diy-and-er-t2351.htm Polaris Monday 25th August 2008 Western Infirmary, in Glasgow “Ed... Ed? Are you listening to me?” “No.” “Are you still pissed off with me?” “Yes.” “But it happened ages ago...” “It happened an hour ago.” “Okay I'm sorry. Do you forgive me?” “No.” “I said I was sorry.” “I know.” “Now you're just being stupid!” “No.” “Why are you so angry about this? - Don't look at me like that! It wasn't my fault.” “Yes, yes it was.” “I even took you to casualty.” “Thank you for your ... Ed Sun, 04 Jan 2009 20:01:48 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-15-diy-and-er-t2351.htm#6992 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-15-diy-and-er-t2351.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-14-suicide-t2350.htm Polaris Thursday 10th of July 2008 in Glasgow What does it take to remember all that has happened? In the end its not the pain that kills you, it’s the rot, slowly creeping through your feelings till there is no love or hate, when joy lasts never. Being depressed is not an option because you don’t even have that as a crutch. When you die on the inside the outside follows rapidly. I hope that people will not dismiss this as some botched final act of desperation, a cry for help. For six months or ... Ed Sun, 04 Jan 2009 20:00:04 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-14-suicide-t2350.htm#6991 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-14-suicide-t2350.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-13-complications-t2348.htm Polaris Tuesday 17th June 2008 in Glasgow Have you ever gone out with someone who was a real psycho? I mean a real bunny boiling maniac who thinks nothing is wrong with going round to your home and raking through your bins. A loon who phones you twenty times an hour along with text messages of an unstable nature. I have. Her name was Sarah, she was one of those unhinged stalker types who would go through my mobile phone and email to see who I was talking to. All this can be handled to a certain ... Ed Sun, 04 Jan 2009 19:56:00 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-13-complications-t2348.htm#6988 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-13-complications-t2348.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-12-going-out-t2347.htm Polaris Wednesday 28th May 2008 in Glasgow It's late, by some obscene miracle I get to the bathroom without falling over, being sick and/or stepping on someone, a common symptom of the many chemical substances imbibed. After finishing the main business of cleansing my aura I decide to look into the mirror to reflect and ponder how embarrassing I have been. A quick run through of the memories at hand seemed to imply that I would not be the subject of fun, rage or scorn for the weeks to come. I have ... Ed Sun, 04 Jan 2009 19:54:03 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-12-going-out-t2347.htm#6987 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-12-going-out-t2347.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-11-uncomfortable-silence-t2343.htm Polaris Thursday 15th May 2008 In Motherwell (just outside Glasgow) I know that John is in the other room just now, I know what he is doing. I know what he is doing and I cannot stop it as I'm in his house. He's sitting on the edge of the bathtub holding the razor in between shaking fingers. His breathing is shallow and quick in anticipation. This is the only real release he has left, drugs are but a distraction to him, this is satisfaction, purification, a hidden cleansing covered from the world ... Ed Sun, 04 Jan 2009 19:52:16 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-11-uncomfortable-silence-t2343.htm#6983 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-11-uncomfortable-silence-t2343.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-10-overhearing-t2342.htm Polaris Monday 12th May 2008 in Glasgow “Lynne?” “Hmm?” “What was he like growing up?” “Who?” “Ed.” “Who?” “You do know who your brother is?” “Oh, well, I dunno.” “You don’t know?” “No.” “You don’t know Ed?” “Yes I know Ed, John, I just don’t know what he was like growing up.” “Post traumatic stress?” “No no, I’m only his half sister, never met the guy till I was nineteen.” “Can’t say I’m not disappointed” “I did get told this one thing though…” “Well?” “When he ... Ed Sun, 04 Jan 2009 19:51:06 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-10-overhearing-t2342.htm#6982 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-10-overhearing-t2342.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-9-oneirogmophobia-t2336.htm Polaris Wednesday 7th May 2008 in Glasgow Oneirogmophobia is my favourite fear. I am looking through a list of phobias at the moment to help pass the time at three in the morning. This one word has almost managed to reduce me to hysterical laughter, rolling on the floor sides splitting and finding it hard to breathe. Oneirogmophobia is the fear of wet dreams. Yes reader, wet dreams. Can you think of anything more pointless than that? Who has this phobia? The only answer I can come up with is a really ... Ed Sun, 04 Jan 2009 19:43:41 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-9-oneirogmophobia-t2336.htm#6976 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-9-oneirogmophobia-t2336.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-8-skinning-up-t2334.htm Polaris Tuesday 06 May 2008 in Glasgow “Pass the tray.” I'm sitting here in my living room with John, over all it was a good afternoon, out in the park playing with a Frisbee, eating ice cream and looking at women in bikinis. He passes me the tray and I get started in prepping a joint. “Did you see all those people this morning?” I nod vague assent and get the skins lined up. “All those people going to work an honest days wage... What's the word for people like that?” “Peasants?” “I thought ... Ed Sun, 04 Jan 2009 19:42:48 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-8-skinning-up-t2334.htm#6974 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-8-skinning-up-t2334.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-7-dinner-t2331.htm Polaris Tuesday 29th April 2008 in Glasgow “Why didn't you tell me the truth?” I shout at my sister in a savage way. My face is hot and red with rage and I want to get answers from my sobbing sibling... But that's not what's happening. I had the opportunity to confront her but for some reason I decided not to. Now I'm off to a friends house for dinner. Normally I would rather not go there, but this is too good an opportunity to miss. This way I can plan my attack and pre-empt all the defences. David ... Ed Sun, 04 Jan 2009 19:41:46 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-7-dinner-t2331.htm#6971 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-7-dinner-t2331.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-6-maintain-t2328.htm Polaris Monday 28th April 2008 in Glasgow I'm sitting in my living room with my sister. I'm having trouble right now trying to figure out when it will be the best time to discuss what I learned from my father on Friday. The door bell goes, I glance over at my sister who is busy rolling a joint so I figure that it must be up to me to go and answer the thing. Answering the door to my house is always one of those hold-your-breath moments. Although I can usually safely assume that the person I’m opening ... Ed Sun, 04 Jan 2009 19:40:33 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-6-maintain-t2328.htm#6968 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-6-maintain-t2328.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-5-parents-t2327.htm Polaris Friday 27 April 2008 in Glasgow I’m going home, well, not home. My fathers house. My Dad and step-Mum stay about twenty minutes away from me by bus so I decided to walk. They live in a bungalow, a hideous one storey pebble-dashed house built in the late sixties, it makes my skin crawl to see the perfectly trimmed hedge, little black wrought iron gate, and red brick driveway. They even have hanging plants outside the front door. Its one of those suburban sarcophagi that seem so popular with ... Ed Sun, 04 Jan 2009 19:39:43 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-5-parents-t2327.htm#6967 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-5-parents-t2327.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-4-walking-t2325.htm Polaris Thursday 24 April 2008 in Glasgow The streets are alive, people buying, people selling. Albeit drugs. And who am I to frown if the business purveyors happen to be seven? I have to admit that the thought of buying speed from someone with pubes would feel slightly strange now. I walk down this road every day more or less and never fail to see the strange anthropological significance in it. Street corners packed with junkies, scum and fourteen-year-old mothers of five wheeling round those multi-buggies ... Ed Sun, 04 Jan 2009 19:38:39 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-4-walking-t2325.htm#6965 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-4-walking-t2325.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-3-sleepless-nights-t2322.htm Polaris Tuesday 22 April 2008 in Glasgow You know when you just can't get any sleep? It's usually when you have to get up very early in the morning, say six. The problem is that you do eventually sleep after hours of staring at the insides of your eyelids. The thing is we all know that a little sleep is a lot worse than getting none at all, then you get all the pain of waking up without the main benefits. This isn't my problem, I'm trying not to fall into a torpid stupor. What can you do when you ... Ed Sun, 04 Jan 2009 19:37:10 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-3-sleepless-nights-t2322.htm#6962 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-3-sleepless-nights-t2322.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-2-one-week-later-t2320.htm Polaris Monday 21 April 2008 in Glasgow 15:30 PM My mobile was ringing. My sister. I had forgotten that I was going to meet her today. “Hello?” “Ed?” “Yes this is Ed, you are calling my phone!” “So when are we meeting?” “Café Cherubini in half an hour?” “Sure.” And with that she rang off. Half an hour gives me enough time to ensure three things: 1. I can get a shower and get changed which is very important when you smell as bad as me just now. At the moment I’m trying to stand back ... Ed Sun, 04 Jan 2009 19:35:33 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-2-one-week-later-t2320.htm#6960 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-2-one-week-later-t2320.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-1-a-hangover-t2319.htm Polaris Tuesday, 15th april 2008 in Glasgow It was about noon when I was rudely awoken by my mail falling on my head. This was the first indication that last night had been a good one, the fact that I could actually feel my liver, and the inside of my skull was the site of what seemed to be an illegal rave were convincing arguments. The final stamp on this matter was that I was fully dressed lying just inside my front door. Dear reader, it is with real shame that I admit to you that this was not ... Ed Sun, 04 Jan 2009 19:33:07 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-1-a-hangover-t2319.htm#6959 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/ed-f49/fragment-1-a-hangover-t2319.htm