http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/-t1.htm Created by Alhena on 27th march 2008. Sun, 28 Mar 2010 15:11:20 GMT 10 http://i31.servimg.com/u/f31/12/11/78/23/ban_ed10.jpg http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/-t1.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-124-neist-point-t4284.htm Alhena Sunday, March 28th 2010 on the Isle of Skye I walk all the way down the path, pass the lighthouse, the bed and breakfast, down to the water. I sit on the rocks, Aidan in my arms covered by several layers of clothes. I hear Steve's footsteps behind me, in the distance. He knows this is something I want to share with our son first. This place. I sit there for a while. Aidan is sleeping. The wind raises. It brings clouds out from Ireland. The cliffs are getting darker, the sea wilder. Nature. ... Charlie Sun, 28 Mar 2010 15:11:20 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-124-neist-point-t4284.htm#14435 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-124-neist-point-t4284.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-123-esthetic-wonders-t4207.htm Alhena Thursday, January 7th 2010 in Glasgow I turn the computer off. I've been working for an hour straight now. Time for a break. I walk to Aidan's room, to check on him. That boy is amazing: meals on the clock, he sleeps as soon as you put him into bed... Let's hope he'll keep that good pattern. I pull the door, so that I don't wake him up cooking. Steve shouldn't be long now. He went running with Vince. He started wanting to get in good shape recently. I thought only new mums wanted to loose weight, ... Charlie Thu, 07 Jan 2010 23:49:10 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-123-esthetic-wonders-t4207.htm#14124 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-123-esthetic-wonders-t4207.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-122-first-day-of-the-year-t4206.htm Alhena Friday, January 1st 2010 in Glasgow The phone rings and I pick it up while still stirring the milk in the pot. "Hello?" "Happy New Year, sweety." "Thanks Mum, Happy New Year to you too. How's Dad? What have you been doing last night?" "Oh, he's great. We've just come back from Istanbul, with our friends, Sir Layton and his wife Rosie. It was very nice. What did you do?" "A little party here, nothing fancy, just dinner with Paul and Emma, Cameron ... Charlie Fri, 01 Jan 2010 20:26:22 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-122-first-day-of-the-year-t4206.htm#14121 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-122-first-day-of-the-year-t4206.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-121-any-night-in-my-new-life-t4161.htm Alhena Saturday, November 21st 2009 in Glasgow "Coccinelle demoiselle, Bête à bon Dieu... Coccinelle demoiselle, Vole jusqu'aux cieux, Petit point blanc, elle attend, Petit point rouge, rien ne bouge, Petit point noir, Coccinelle au revoir..." Aidan finally falls asleep. I lay him down gently in his bed. My little one. I kneel down next to the bed and watch him sleep. I hear Steve coming in and sitting next to me on the floor. We stay quiet for a while and then he whispers: ... Charlie Sat, 21 Nov 2009 09:51:39 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-121-any-night-in-my-new-life-t4161.htm#13960 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-121-any-night-in-my-new-life-t4161.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-120-how-is-it-to-be-done-t3901.htm Alhena Sunday, June 28th 2009 on the Isle of Skye I'm standing in front of the closed doors of the little church. It's packed with friends and family. But most importantly, Steve is waiting for me behind those doors. Aidan is there too, sleeping. My little boy. We kind of have to hurry, otherwise, I'll be getting undressed in front of everybody to feed him... I turn to my dad. He takes my face in his hands. "You ready?" "Yes. Yes I am ready." He takes my hand, and knocks ... Charlie Sun, 28 Jun 2009 21:09:54 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-120-how-is-it-to-be-done-t3901.htm#12829 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-120-how-is-it-to-be-done-t3901.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-119-young-morning-t3892.htm Alhena Thursday, June 25th 2009 in Glasgow The sky is blue and luminous. The sun is shining. I set my hand on my belly. Steve is still sleeping, I can hear his calm breathing. He's still recovering from his stag night. Well, after all, he was indeed exstremely drunk when Dad, Vince and Sean brought him back. My hen night was somehow less troublesome. Being pregnant, I can't really drink alcohol. And since I couldn't dance either, we did it at Sasha's place, and the worst that happened was dressing ... Charlie Fri, 26 Jun 2009 14:04:08 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-119-young-morning-t3892.htm#12804 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-119-young-morning-t3892.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-118-it-s-hard-to-forgive-but-t3669.htm Alhena Monday, April 13th 2009 in Glasgow We had a talk through with Steve and Paul. And they both said that I should stop acting like a child with Dad. Dr McCourt said something like that too. She talked about forgiving and how we should learn to love others for themselves and not for the image of them we like. I know all of that, but I still find it difficult to forgive my father, with what he's done to me. "True, honey. But think this through. What has he done? Over all the years since ... Charlie Mon, 13 Apr 2009 12:41:12 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-118-it-s-hard-to-forgive-but-t3669.htm#11750 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-118-it-s-hard-to-forgive-but-t3669.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-117-dark-birthday-t3638.htm Alhena Friday, April 3rd 2009 in Glasgow The alarm goes off. It's a new dawn, a new day starting. I go to the kitchen, and put the kettle on. Steve comes in, and gives me a cuddle. I don't feel too well, but the doctor says it's only normal. Steve whispers some love and hope in my ear. Thanks, honey, but I don't really want to hear that today. "Are you working today?" "Er... no. But I have to go and see Vince and then we have an appointment with Sasha." "You're going ... Charlie Sat, 04 Apr 2009 00:40:48 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-117-dark-birthday-t3638.htm#11576 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-117-dark-birthday-t3638.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-116-welcome-back-t3587.htm Alhena Thursday, March 26th 2009 in Glasgow "Sir, believe me. Charlie has to come back." "But you said yourself that it was too soon. That it would be risky for the paper..." "I know, sir. But have you read her article? She's ready to come back." A moment of silence. "Very well. You take full responsability for this, Bob?" "Yes sir." "Well, then, it is sorted." "Thank you sir." "Ask her in." Yeah. ... Charlie Thu, 26 Mar 2009 16:41:10 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-116-welcome-back-t3587.htm#11324 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-116-welcome-back-t3587.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-115-getting-in-touch-t3482.htm Alhena Monday, March 9th 2009 in Glasgow I turn the computer on. Some music is playing softly in the background and Steve is reading the newspaper on the sofa. There is a sweet feeling in the house. As if warm cookies could be a feeling... You have one email. Well then let's read it. It's from Amy, the nice French girl I met at Dr McCourt... Dr McCourt? Shit!!! "Steve?" "Hum?" "What time is it?" "It's ten to five, why?" "Shit!" He looks ... Charlie Tue, 10 Mar 2009 00:17:20 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-115-getting-in-touch-t3482.htm#10757 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-115-getting-in-touch-t3482.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-114-new-article-t3388.htm Alhena Friday, February 27th 2009 in Glasgow ...One may wonder though what kind of power can attract all these people to here, to our beloved Glasgow. Is it money? Is it investment? Is it fame? I don't believe so. From all I've collected in my last months of research, I doubt you can find any more desinterested people than those who come to Glasgow in the first place. I'm not saying they are not coming to find a situation, that they don't expect to get a job, and own some money. What I am saying, ... Charlie Fri, 27 Feb 2009 15:42:57 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-114-new-article-t3388.htm#10208 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-114-new-article-t3388.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-113-you-get-loads-going-to-the-psychiatrist-t3361.htm Alhena Monday, February 23rd 2009 in Glasgow Steve drops me off in front of Dr McCourt's. He's on his way to a night shift. I hope it'll be ok. He didn't sleep very well in the last couple of days, so I'm not sure if he's rested enough. Well, now it's too late to worry about it anyway. I get in the waiting room. There is nobody there. I'm way early, but Steve didn't want to let me go on my own. And he made Cameron promise to come and get me at 7... I think he's being overprotective, but I don't ... Charlie Tue, 24 Feb 2009 14:17:52 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-113-you-get-loads-going-to-the-psychiatrist-t3361.htm#10021 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-113-you-get-loads-going-to-the-psychiatrist-t3361.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-112-the-brothers-first-encounter-t3309.htm Alhena Friday, February 20th 2009 in Glasgow "So, now that I'm here, are you going to tell me why I had to come so urgently?" "Yes." He didn't expect my calm response. He gets in the car, and I get out of the car park and on the road to the flat. Slowly, calmly, I tell him the story. The story of our family. He knows the beginning, he is the one who gave it to me. Before I got kidnapped. And then, the part the kidnappers knew. And then, the part of how I met Louis, and the ... Charlie Sat, 21 Feb 2009 17:17:14 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-112-the-brothers-first-encounter-t3309.htm#9867 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-112-the-brothers-first-encounter-t3309.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-111-summer-looks-like-a-busy-time-t3307.htm Alhena Thursday, February 19th 2009 in Glasgow I eventually reach the pub in which Cameron, Sara and Sasha are waiting for me. I get to their table, and give them a quick hug. "So, Charlie, what's the hurry?" "I have big news." "What kind?" I take the time to order a pineapple juice and take my coat off. I look at them. My friends. The closest I have. I put my hand on Cameron's. "When is the wedding?" Sara blushes a little, and says "On the ... Charlie Sat, 21 Feb 2009 16:52:10 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-111-summer-looks-like-a-busy-time-t3307.htm#9865 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-111-summer-looks-like-a-busy-time-t3307.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-110-one-to-one-t3260.htm Alhena Friday, February 13th 2009 in Glasgow I took Louis around in the West End to show him "my" Glasgow. We had a wee walk around in the Botanic Gardens, we walked down Byres Road. We went in the Oràn Mòr, the church which was changed into a pub. And we went all the way down to the Kelvingrove Gallery. It was really nice. The weather is still quite cloudy and it's cold, but it didn't seem to bother Louis. When we finally get back home, I settle Louis in the living-room, on the sofa, ... Charlie Fri, 13 Feb 2009 15:59:44 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-110-one-to-one-t3260.htm#9612 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-110-one-to-one-t3260.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-109-dinner-at-the-restaurant-t3248.htm Alhena Tuesday, February 10th 2009 in Glasgow Everyone bursts out of laughter. Paul is being such a jerk! He's being telling that story since he was about 10, and it gets better every time he tells it again. We finished the main course and are almost up for dessert. Steve holds my hand, and Louis is listening carefully at Paul. Emma looks just happy, and I suppose I probably just look the same. The food's been perfect, and we manage to keep a nice balance between French and English in the conversation. ... Charlie Wed, 11 Feb 2009 11:05:11 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-109-dinner-at-the-restaurant-t3248.htm#9546 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-109-dinner-at-the-restaurant-t3248.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-108-my-weekly-appointment-t3239.htm Alhena Monday, February 9th 2009 in Glasgow Steve drops me there, and off he goes to work. I think he's slightly uncomfortable with that idea, leaving me to see "someone". Well, it wasn't really my choice either. But Mum, Dad, Paul, Cameron, the Police, Bob... Everybody said that I must have gone through some kind of trauma. My doctor, Dr Shepherd, seems to think so too. And she also said that it would not be any good for the baby. And generally speaking, I don't want to become a freak. ... Charlie Mon, 09 Feb 2009 00:03:45 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-108-my-weekly-appointment-t3239.htm#9489 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-108-my-weekly-appointment-t3239.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-107-plans-plans-plans-t3202.htm Alhena Monday, February 2nd 2009 in Glasgow "Hey honey!" Steve closes the door, drops his coat in the kitchen, and comes to kiss me. I let it linger a little. I just love kissing him. He sits down next to me. "Hello." I whisper, catching my breath. "How are you?" "I'm good. You?" "Yeah, ok, more or less. It's been a long day." I can see the worries wrinkling the corners of his eyes. Let's talk. "Steve?" "Hum?" "We ... Charlie Mon, 02 Feb 2009 16:39:40 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-107-plans-plans-plans-t3202.htm#9250 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-107-plans-plans-plans-t3202.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-106-some-reading-t3143.htm Alhena Tuesday, January 27th 2009 in Glasgow I let the book fall on the bed next to me. I still want to read, I'm still eager to find out what happens to that heroin. But I need a break. I need to come back to reality. This book is getting the best of me. I already knew I had a conflicted relationship to books and literature in general, but I forgot how deep I can get involved in a novel. In this case, even worse, several novels. I feel like a teenager again. But that might be because of the book. ... Charlie Tue, 27 Jan 2009 16:36:46 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-106-some-reading-t3143.htm#8898 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-106-some-reading-t3143.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-105-new-year-s-dawn-t2512.htm Alhena Thursday, January 1st 2009 in Glasgow A new year. With new challenges, and new joys. New people as well. Perhaps new pains, and maybe new problems. But still, a new page to continue the story of my life. A white page. A virginal page. But this one will be written by two hands. By Steve and me. I raise my left hand. The ring glitters in the morning light. I didn't believe that the human being can be fulled with so much happiness. I feel so lucky and privileged, even though my recent life has ... Charlie Mon, 05 Jan 2009 12:05:49 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-105-new-year-s-dawn-t2512.htm#7166 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-105-new-year-s-dawn-t2512.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-104-giving-the-big-news-t2511.htm Alhena Tuesday, December 30th 2008 in Glasgow "I think it's time now." "Really? But I don't want to!" "Charlie, stop acting like a child. They're dead worried about you. Come on..." "Ok, ok. I'll do it." "Now." "No, later." "Charlie... I tell you what, if you do it now, we open the Christmas presents as soon as you're finished." I give Steve a poor smile. I really don't want to do it. But I know he's right. I get ... Charlie Mon, 05 Jan 2009 12:05:23 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-104-giving-the-big-news-t2511.htm#7165 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-104-giving-the-big-news-t2511.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-103-first-free-morning-t2510.htm Alhena Monday, December 29th 2008 in Glasgow When I eventually wake up, Steve has indeed not moved an inch. I sit down in the bed and look around me. My appartment. My cocoon. I'm back. At last. I still can't believe it though. I lay back down, and pulls the cover above my head. If I could but disappear just the time to recover. Nobody could ask questions that way. But I can't. I have to face inquisitive looks, curious faces and anxious questions. I'm trying to make a list of priorities in my ... Charlie Mon, 05 Jan 2009 12:04:52 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-103-first-free-morning-t2510.htm#7164 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-103-first-free-morning-t2510.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-102-glasgow-finally-t2509.htm Alhena Sunday, December 28th 2008 on the road between Cumnock and Glasgow I still can't believe it. Oh my God. I'm free! Free! I check again the mirror to see if anybody is following me. Well, as long as I stay on the highway, they won't touch me. I have been driving for the last five hours, but I don't feel tired. I'm beyond tiredness, beyond fear, beyond courage. I keep my eyes on the road and on the count of the miles between me and Glasgow. I reach the police station near Charing ... Charlie Mon, 05 Jan 2009 12:04:10 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-102-glasgow-finally-t2509.htm#7163 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-102-glasgow-finally-t2509.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-101-on-the-road-t2508.htm Alhena Monday, December 22nd 2008 Unknown, on the road White is still on the driver's seat. Franck is giving directions and Rozia is half asleep and moaning. His wound, on his shoulder, is bleeding quite strongly. We stopped a while ago for a quick break, food and toilet. And off we were again. I can tell from the landscape around us that we're still in Scotland but probably, closer to the English border. I try to get my brain to register every single detail. My eyes are half closed as if I was ... Charlie Mon, 05 Jan 2009 12:03:38 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-101-on-the-road-t2508.htm#7162 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-101-on-the-road-t2508.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-100-two-long-minutes-t2507.htm Alhena Sunday, December 21st 2008 Unknown Two gunshots. I sit down on my bed. What is going on? Another two shots. The door opens. Frank comes in, followed closely by Rozia and White. They all have guns in their hands. White grabs my arm and pulls me up. "Move, now." Rozia turns towards the door, where Frank stayed in cover. "How does it look Frank?" "Ok, Mr Rozia." "Ok, let's go." Frank gets out, then Rozia. White pushes me outside and walks ... Charlie Mon, 05 Jan 2009 12:03:10 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-100-two-long-minutes-t2507.htm#7161 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-100-two-long-minutes-t2507.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-99-flash-back-t2505.htm Alhena Tuesday, December 16th 2008 Unknown "My real grandmother? Really?" I look at both of them, not believing what I'm hearing. "Is it a joke? Or maybe the lastest technique from the FARC to distabilise hostages ? Well, gentlemen, bad news: it doesn't work on me." I resume my eating. I only hope they don't see my hands shaking very slightly. Dad was right. They know about a lot on us. I risk an eye on their faces. They look all the same, but I think they didn't expect that ... Charlie Mon, 05 Jan 2009 12:02:29 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-99-flash-back-t2505.htm#7159 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-99-flash-back-t2505.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-98-wr-white-does-the-talking-t2504.htm Alhena Monday, December 15th 2008 Unknown It's the third time today I throw up. This doesn't look too good. I'm going to need a doctor fast. But there is absolutely no bloody way I'm going to ask for one. I don't how I'll get out of here, or when, but I will one day, I know it. And asking for something - anything, will only postpone that moment. Not that I know much about kidnapping, mind you. I'm just trying to think like them. I haven't seen Rozia nor White, since that conversation. Not that ... Charlie Mon, 05 Jan 2009 12:01:46 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-98-wr-white-does-the-talking-t2504.htm#7158 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-98-wr-white-does-the-talking-t2504.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-97-mr-white-t2503.htm Alhena Saturday, December 13th 2008 Unknown I'm back in the discussion room. Rozia is there too. There's also another man I've never seen before. They both look at me. It's been going on like that for the last five minutes at least. Suddenly, Rozia gets up. "Do you know your ancestors well, Charlie?" Again, the "Charlie". Get used to it. He wants to get closer to you. The other man hasn't moved a hair. I turn to Rozia who started walking around. "Well enough, I suppose, ... Charlie Mon, 05 Jan 2009 12:01:08 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-97-mr-white-t2503.htm#7157 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-97-mr-white-t2503.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-96-is-she-dead-t2502.htm Alhena Thursday, December 11th 2008 Unknown "Excuse me?" I knock on the door again, and say it a little louder. "Excuse me!" The door finally opens. The guy I believe to be Frank stands there looking at me as if it's the first time he sees a woman. "I want to talk to Rozia." The gorilla looks at me from head to toes. I just noticed his gun, in a hoslter under his arm. He stares at me for a second or two, and then says: "First, it's Mr Rozia. And, second, ... Charlie Mon, 05 Jan 2009 12:00:30 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-96-is-she-dead-t2502.htm#7156 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-96-is-she-dead-t2502.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-95-behind-the-door-t2501.htm Alhena Wednesday, December 10th 2008 Unknown I cuddle up on the bed, trying to sleep. I need to keep some strenght. I haven't seen Véronique in a while, which makes me somehow feel like I'm on holidays. Rozia hasn't been much around. I've hardly seen anybody actually. I think it's got something to do with some new documents or informations they received. I take it's bad news for them, so it must be good news for me. I fall slowly asleep. My whole body gets numb. The feet and the hands first, ... Charlie Mon, 05 Jan 2009 11:59:15 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-95-behind-the-door-t2501.htm#7155 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-95-behind-the-door-t2501.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-94-good-news-or-bad-news-t2500.htm Alhena Monday, December 8th 2008 Unknown Rozia comes in the "discussion" room. He's carrying a bag. He throws it on the table, and sits down next to it. "I think it's time for us to have a little chat." "Definitively. I missed those priviledged moments we have together." He giggles. "Nothing will get to your spirits." I stay silent. Answering this will only give him a new weapon to hit and hurt me with. "Look," he points at the bag on ... Charlie Mon, 05 Jan 2009 11:58:00 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-94-good-news-or-bad-news-t2500.htm#7154 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-94-good-news-or-bad-news-t2500.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-93-reflections-t2499.htm Alhena Saturday, December 6th 2008 Unknown "For the last time, what was your father doing in Africa?" I haven't slept for the last forty-eight hours. Neither have I drunk nor eaten. The fine gentleman who has been asking that question, is new on the list. It's nice to have new faces once in a while. Oh, what am I talking about? I'm a hostage, getting beaten up everyday, and all I find interesting is that the guy who is being brutal with me today is new? Wake up to the real world, Charlie!!! I ... Charlie Mon, 05 Jan 2009 11:57:23 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-93-reflections-t2499.htm#7153 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-93-reflections-t2499.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-92-ten-days-anniversary-t2498.htm Alhena Thursday, December 4th 2008 Unknown Marc Rozia sits down, in front of me. My head feels kind of numb and I can only open one eye. I had the pleasure of a "conversation" earlier on with Veronique. I don't know what her hands are made of, but surely no satin. My hands are tied up behind my bak and to the chair I'm sitting on. I still don't know how long I've been here, but it feels as if this chair has become an extension of me, a part of my body that I could leave there without any ... Charlie Mon, 05 Jan 2009 11:56:42 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-92-ten-days-anniversary-t2498.htm#7152 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-92-ten-days-anniversary-t2498.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-91-seeing-them-t2497.htm Alhena Wednesday, December 3rd 2008 Unknown I'm on the beach. It's any beach really. The sea is blue. Any blue. Any sea. I'm alone. I walk, enjoying the simple feeling of the sand under my feet. I'm wearing a simple white top and a green skirt. In my left hand, I carry my black shoes. The sky is quite grey, but there is no thread of rain. I hear my name, and turn around to see Mum, Dad, Paul and Daniel, his family, and Steve, standing next to the little house on the dune. I walk towards them. I ... Charlie Mon, 05 Jan 2009 11:56:13 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-91-seeing-them-t2497.htm#7151 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-91-seeing-them-t2497.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-90-poor-body-t2496.htm Alhena Tuesday, December 2nd 2008 Unknown Two hands pull me up. I have no strenght, no will left. I can't feel anything, any part of my body. Do I still have a body? The hands make me sit back on the chair. I can guess more than I can see, the silhouette of my tormentor in front of me. Miss Mancabou hasn't quite finished with me. Next to her, sitting on the table, it seems to be another character. Maybe Rozia? I believe he would take pleasure watching this fight... I have no will, but I haven't ... Charlie Mon, 05 Jan 2009 11:54:28 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-90-poor-body-t2496.htm#7150 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-90-poor-body-t2496.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-89-miss-mancabou-t2495.htm Alhena Monday, December 1st 2008 Unknown She sits down in front of me. She's very stylish. I can see, only by the material of her clothes, that it's haute couture. Her perfume... If I'm not mistaken, it's Chanel n°5. Just smelling its sweet waves, I feel even more dirty and stinky. She smiles at me. Whatever. I won't get fooled. I've seen too many things since I've been here. Maybe they decided to play the good cop-bad cop trick. As if that would get me... Maybe they really think I'm stupid. ... Charlie Mon, 05 Jan 2009 11:54:00 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-89-miss-mancabou-t2495.htm#7149 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-89-miss-mancabou-t2495.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-88-words-duel-t2492.htm Alhena Sunday, November 30th 2008 Unknown "I have good news for you, Miss Collomb." "I'm going to have a shower?" Rozia seems a little destabilised. Well done, Charlie, I think. Get his confidence down, and you take HIM down. "That could be an option, indeed, but you know the deal: you speak and then you have a shower." "I don't call that a deal, I call it blackmail. But then, you're the one that has to put up with the smell, I'm use to it." I say, ... Charlie Mon, 05 Jan 2009 11:53:23 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-88-words-duel-t2492.htm#7146 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-88-words-duel-t2492.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-87-alone-t2490.htm Alhena Saturday, November 29th 2008 Unknown Alone. It feels as if that's the last word my vocabulary has got left. I've been walking in circles for ages. I don't how long. Obviously, because... "I HAVE NO FUCKING WATCH!" Calm down Charlie. Screaming is not going to help you. "NOTHING IS GOING TO HELP ME!" Don't give up! Be strong! Face your fears! The more you scream and bang on the door, the better you serve their interests. "Maybe. But, at least for now, IT FEELS ... Charlie Mon, 05 Jan 2009 11:52:21 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-87-alone-t2490.htm#7144 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-87-alone-t2490.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-86-talking-about-my-dad-t2489.htm Alhena Friday, November 28th 2008 Unknown Again, in the room. I'm alone for now. A man, that I have never seen before, has taken me here. I suppose I'm going to meet that woman and that man again. It's strange that they let me see their faces. I thought about that. It worries me: maybe they don't care because they know I will never be able to confound them... Maybe because I will never get out alive. No, Charlie, don't think about that. It's not good for your well-being... The door opens. Marc ... Charlie Mon, 05 Jan 2009 11:51:54 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-86-talking-about-my-dad-t2489.htm#7143 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-86-talking-about-my-dad-t2489.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-85-the-man-and-the-woman-t2481.htm Alhena Thursday, November 27th 2008 Unknown I'm half asleep when I hear an unusual noise. A key in the keyhole. I get up more quickly than I thought I could. I stand there, half happy half afraid. Not really aware of what I want more: the door to open or to stay closed. But the door doesn't need my opinion, and open. Two people come in. One is a woman. The other one is a man. They are dressed in black, and their hands are empty. "Miss Collomb, follow us." They lead the way out. I ... Charlie Mon, 05 Jan 2009 11:46:30 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-85-the-man-and-the-woman-t2481.htm#7134 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-85-the-man-and-the-woman-t2481.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-84-thoughts-t2479.htm Alhena Wednesday, November 26th 2008 Unknown Waiting. That's all I can do here. They took my watch away. I don't even have that reassuring sound of the minutes' hand moving around the clock. I haven't seen anybody, apart from a person with a mask earlier on, who brought me some food and then took everything away. Didn't say a word, neither did I. To pass the time, I think. At first, I didn't. My mind was just blank. And then, little by little, movies came back to my head. Films about hostages. ... Charlie Mon, 05 Jan 2009 11:46:00 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-84-thoughts-t2479.htm#7132 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-84-thoughts-t2479.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-83-breath-in-breath-out-t2477.htm Alhena Tuesday, November 25th 2008 Unknown I'm sitting on a chair, my hands on my knees. My eyes are set on a imaginary spot, right in front of me, on the wall. Nothing on my wrists or on my ankles. I'm somehow free, free to walk around. I did that. I hid in the corner, too. But just now, I'm sitting on a chair. I'm focusing on my breathing. In. Out. In. Out. But the round of questions fills my head. In. Out. Why me? In. Out. What does he want? In. Out. How come I didn't see it coming? In. ... Charlie Mon, 05 Jan 2009 11:45:20 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-83-breath-in-breath-out-t2477.htm#7130 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-83-breath-in-breath-out-t2477.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-82-the-unexpected-t2475.htm Alhena Monday, November 24th 2008 in Glasgow As it was planned, I meet up with Jake at the bottom of the building at 5.30. My mind is full of yesterday, and of the joyful thought of finding Steve at home when I come back from work. Jake takes me to his car, and I get in, while we are discussing a topic for next week. I'd like to do something about the ceilidhs all around Glasgow and maybe a parallel with the Briton cousin, the fest noz. Jake not being a very sociable person, he never went to a ceilidh, ... Charlie Mon, 05 Jan 2009 11:44:36 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-82-the-unexpected-t2475.htm#7128 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-82-the-unexpected-t2475.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-81-sunday-breakfast-in-bed-t2473.htm Alhena Sunday, November 23rd 2008 in Glasgow I close the door as silently as I can. Steve is hopefully still sleeping. I go to the kitchen and open the blinds. The sun is slowly rises on the slopes of Kelvingrove Park, staining of gold and pink the stones of the buildings. I get the coffee going and set the little tray: two glasses of orange juice, four toasts on a plate, butter, plump jam from my grandma, croissants from the only good baker in Byres Road, and of course Steve's cup of coffee and ... Charlie Mon, 05 Jan 2009 11:44:04 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-81-sunday-breakfast-in-bed-t2473.htm#7126 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-81-sunday-breakfast-in-bed-t2473.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-80-planning-on-meeting-a-balinese-guy-t2470.htm Alhena Friday, November 21st 2008 in Glasgow “Miss Collomb?” “Oh, hi Jake, how are you today?” “I’m good thank you, yourself?” “Not bad… What can I do for you?” “Coming with me.” “Excuse me, coming with you where?” “In the East End. I have an appointment with a Balinese guy, for the article on exotic dances. But I’m not very good at interviews…” “When is that appointment?” “Monday. At 6.” I check my agenda. “It doesn’t really fit in my schedule… Have you asked Daniel or Giulia?” “Er, ... Charlie Mon, 05 Jan 2009 11:42:56 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-80-planning-on-meeting-a-balinese-guy-t2470.htm#7123 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-80-planning-on-meeting-a-balinese-guy-t2470.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-79-dilemna-t2468.htm Alhena Thursday, November 20th 2008 in Glasgow I’m meeting up with my little bro. I haven’t seen Paul in a week, I think he’s still upset with me. I’m not sure exactly why. Was it the way I talked to Dad? The fact that I had a secret from him? I don’t know. Instinctively, I know that there is some misunderstanding, and that is something that I want to solve. I just don’t accept not being in good terms with Paul. We’ve been through too much, both of us. But Paul always had a special relationship ... Charlie Mon, 05 Jan 2009 11:42:11 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-79-dilemna-t2468.htm#7121 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-79-dilemna-t2468.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-78-to-live-normally-t2466.htm Alhena Monday, November 17th 2008 in Glasgow My dad decided to go to the Ambassador’s party. I chose not to go. I didn’t want to meet that weird man Dembelé. Steve agrees with me: that guy knows more than he says and he tried to seduce me. Of course this last thought kind of flatters me, but Steve is not of that opinion, obviously. This morning, I went to work normally. My life is like that nowadays: I live as I would normally. But I’m not really. The only thing that is normal is my relationship ... Charlie Mon, 05 Jan 2009 11:41:38 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-78-to-live-normally-t2466.htm#7119 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-78-to-live-normally-t2466.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-77-father-t2465.htm Alhena Sunday, November 16th 2008 in Glasgow “Oh, Charlie, come in.” “Good morning, Father.” I enter the room, followed closely by Steve. “Sir Collomb, hi, I’m Steve.” My dad looks at me with a question mark in his eyes. “He is my boyfriend, Father.” “Very nice to meet you, Steve. Charlie, why did you wait so long to come and see me?” I stay mute for a couple of second, and then look straight at my dad. “Do you really wonder, Father? Oh, and by the way, where is your so useful lawyer?” ... Charlie Mon, 05 Jan 2009 11:40:29 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-77-father-t2465.htm#7118 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-77-father-t2465.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-76-on-the-edge-of-a-sharp-knife-t2464.htm Alhena Saturday, November 15th 2008 in Glasgow I’m sitting in the sofa, the file in front of me on the living room table. I don’t dare to touch it. It looks like a bomb to me. What’s in there? This question occupies all my thoughts. It’s going in circles in my head. I don’t even see Steve coming back from work, although I hear him. He drops his bag and keys by the front door, and comes and sits next to me. “Hello you.” I kiss him. “Hi… how was your day?” Steve lays down in the sofa. “Hum, ... Charlie Mon, 05 Jan 2009 11:39:34 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-76-on-the-edge-of-a-sharp-knife-t2464.htm#7117 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-76-on-the-edge-of-a-sharp-knife-t2464.htm http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-75-you-thought-it-was-the-end-but-it-s-only-the-begining-t2462.htm Alhena Friday, November 14th 2008 in Glasgow Three knocks on the door and Daniel opens to let Mr Dembelé in. I almost forgot about him, this week being so hectic. I get up, smile and shake his hand. “Good morning, sir.” “Good morning, miss. I’m here with good news.” I show him the seat in front of me. “Really? What good news?” “The murderer of M. Abou was arrested yesterday, in Casamance. You’re cleared of all charges, if there was any, and I was asked to give you this.” He takes a ... Charlie Mon, 05 Jan 2009 11:38:58 GMT http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-75-you-thought-it-was-the-end-but-it-s-only-the-begining-t2462.htm#7115 http://www.etoilesdencre.com/charlie-f47/fragment-75-you-thought-it-was-the-end-but-it-s-only-the-begining-t2462.htm